Losing Control (Literally): What My Shoulder Surgery Taught Me About Living Unscripted

You never realize how much you use something until it stops working. Like your shoulder. Specifically, your non-dominant shoulder.

I recently had rotator cuff surgery on my left shoulder, which, in theory, shouldn’t be that big of a deal since I’m right-handed. I figured I’d be slightly inconvenienced but still able to do most things without much trouble. Turns out, I was very, very wrong.

See, my left arm may not be the star of the show, but it’s been a quiet, reliable backup dancer my whole life. And now that it’s been out of commission, I feel like I’m trying to function with half a toolkit. Simple things—tying my shoes, pulling up my pants, washing my hair, cutting food—have turned into full-blown strategy sessions. I’ve learned to get creative, but I’ve also had to do something I hate to do: ask for help.

And let me tell you, that has been the real struggle.

When You’re Forced to Let Go

I like to be independent and in control. I like knowing I can handle things on my own. But I couldn’t even peel an orange without assistance, and that’s been a humbling (and slightly frustrating) reality to accept.

I wanted to resist. I really did. But I knew I could not do everything myself. I awkwardly maneuvered around my limitations like some kind of one-armed ninja. But after seeing how immobile I was, I had to admit defeat. I needed to let people step in.

My husband has been a trooper, my caretaker and live saver helping me with things I never thought I’d need help with. But I won’t lie—it’s hard not being the one in control. It’s hard to slow down when I’m used to moving at my own pace. It’s hard to let go and trust that everything will still get done, even if it’s not on my terms.

The Unscripted Lessons in All of This

This whole experience has been a lesson in surrender. And honestly? That ties perfectly into what it means to live an unscripted life. Because sometimes, no matter how much we plan, life decides to throw a wrench (or, in my case, a bum shoulder) into the mix.

Here are a few things I’ve learned from this unexpected detour:

1. Just Because You’re Right-Handed Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Need Your Left Hand

I had no idea how much my left hand contributed to my everyday life. Pouring a drink while holding the cup steady? Yeah, not happening. Carrying groceries? Not unless I want to drag them across the parking lot. I took my left arm for granted, and now that it’s on a forced vacation, I have a whole new appreciation for it.

2. Control Is Overrated (Kind Of)

I’ve spent so much of my life wanting to be in control—of my time, my future, my choices. But control is an illusion. Sometimes, you have to adapt. Sometimes, you have to let someone else take the reins (even if they load the dishwasher all wrong). And sometimes, the best thing you can do is accept where you are instead of fighting it.

3. Slowing Down Isn’t a Setback

Before surgery, I was constantly on the go, always thinking about the next task, the next goal, the next step. Now, I’ve had no choice but to slow down. And while it’s frustrating at times, it’s also been a gift. I’ve had more time to reflect, to appreciate the small things, and to realize that being forced to pause doesn’t mean I’m falling behind.

4. Laughter Really Is the Best Medicine

There were moments in this journey that were so ridiculous I had no choice but to laugh. Like when I tried to put my hair in a ponytail and ended up with a lopsided mess that looked like a toddler did it. No seriously, I looked like a child! If I’ve learned anything, it’s that humor makes hard things easier.

5. Gratitude Changes Everything

I took my mobility for granted before this surgery. Now, I find gratitude in the smallest victories— lifting a cup with my left hand, putting my hair up without struggle, getting through the day without frustration. Even if it's still a work in progess, I'm celebrating these wins. Sometimes, life has to pause for us to truly see the blessings around us.

Embracing the Unscripted Moments

This recovery period won’t last forever, but the lessons will stick with me. I may not be able to do everything on my own, but that doesn’t mean I’m weak. I may not be in control, but that doesn’t mean life is out of control. And I may have had to slow down, but maybe—just maybe—there’s something valuable in the pause.

So, if you’re in a season where life isn’t going according to plan, I get it. But instead of fighting it, what if you leaned into it? What if you found the humor in it? What if, instead of seeing it as a setback, you saw it as an invitation to embrace the unscripted moments?

I’d love to hear from you—have you ever had to slow down and rely on others when you didn’t want to? How did you handle it?

Selah,

Cynthia